More on Children

by S. M. Hutchens

Many people do not like their children and bear a great deal of guilt for it. For when love is equated with mere affection, difficulty in summoning that feeling must be perceived as lack of love—and parents should love their children. When one observes the offspring of such people, moreover, what is invariably seen is selfish, demanding, ill-behaved, and rude—reasonable to dislike—hence, in the modern confusion of terms, unlovable. This is normally the fault of the parents for permitting their children, through lack of effective discipline, to become this way, and in a deeper sense of the authorities who have misled them by feigning knowledge in these matters. The truth lies not in the ridiculous and utterly unempirical notion that people are naturally good, and therefore require by way of spiritual nurture the encouragement of indeterminate "natural" growth.

The guiding wisdom is found in the older, harder, and more realistic texts: "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him," and "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him." My own rule of thumb has been, "Train your children so you enjoy their company. If you do, others will, too, and the children, seeing fondness for them reflected in others, will experience the happiness of thinking well of themselves in that qualified way that makes for mental and spiritual health."

S. M. Hutchens is a senior editor.

calling all readers

Please Donate

"There are magazines worth reading but few worth saving . . . Touchstone is just such a magazine."
—Alice von Hildebrand

"Here we do not concede one square millimeter of territory to falsehood, folly, contemporary sentimentality, or fashion. We speak the truth, and let God be our judge. . . . Touchstone is the one committedly Christian conservative journal."
—Anthony Esolen, Touchstone senior editor

Support Touchstone

more on family from the online archives

32.1—January/February 2019

The Life of Sean

on Down Syndrome & the Lives That Matter by David F. Watson

28.2—March/April 2015

As Goes Sweden

Neo-Pagan Family Policies Doom Any Recovery by Allan C. Carlson

30.1—Jan/Feb 2017

Family Matters

Domestic Altars & Godly Offspring by Allan C. Carlson

• Subscribers: Manage your subscription account here.

• Not a subscriber or wish to renew your subscription? Subscribe to Touchstone today for full online access. Over 30 years of publishing!

personal subscriptions

Purchase
Online Subscription

Get a one-year full-access subscription to the Touchstone online archives including pdf downloads for only $19.95. That's only $1.66 per month!

RENEW your online subscription

Purchase Print &
Online Subscription

Get six issues (one year) of Touchstone PLUS full online access including pdf downloads for only $39.95. That's only $3.34 per month!

RENEW your print/online
subscription

gift subscriptions

GIVE Print &
Online Subscription

Give six issues (one year) of Touchstone PLUS full online access including pdf downloads for the reduced rate of $29.95. That's only $2.50 per month!

RENEW your gift subscription

Transactions will be processed on a secure server.

bulk subscriptions

Order Touchstone subscriptions in bulk and save $10 per sub! Each subscription includes 6 issues of Touchstone plus full online access to touchstonemag.com—including archives, videos, and pdf downloads of recent issues for only $29.95 each! Great for churches or study groups.

kindle subscription

OR get a subscription to Touchstone to read on your Kindle for only $1.99 per month! (This option is KINDLE ONLY and does not include either print or online.)

Your subscription goes a long way to ensure that Touchstone is able to continue its mission of publishing quality Christian articles and commentary.