View
Her Sabbath Song
Bob Perry on Seeing Beyond His Mother's Alzheimer's Disease
My mom has Alzheimer's disease. Most of us have read about it or seen movies about it, but until you experience what it does to a loved one, those are nothing but detached observations that cannot possibly describe the evil tyrant that Alzheimer's is. Yes, its attack is relentless and debilitating. But the person who has the disease is not its only victim. In fact, the sad reality is that the victim seems blissfully unaware that anything is wrong with him—at least I pray that is the case—while those who love him must stand helplessly by and watch the one they love drift further and further away, even as he's sitting right in front of you.
My mom tells stories from years ago but can't remember that she just ate dinner. The stories are jumbled and intertwined. Sometimes she laughs or gets sad as she tells them, whether the emotion is appropriate to the story or not. She warns us about imaginary dangers and wonders why people who have been dead for many years haven't stopped by to see her.
We go along with the stories and ask questions to hear her tell more. We love to hear her tell them. We heed her warnings and encourage her to give us more advice. We remind her who we are and where we live—several times a day. We tell her about the five grandsons she is shocked to learn she has—even though she can recite their names in order if we prompt her in the right way. My wife and I explain that, yes, we really did invite her to our wedding thirty years ago and, yes, that man over there has been her husband since 1956. There are glimpses of coherence that pop in and out, but those moments seem to be showing themselves less often.
She loves to watch old movies. The beauty of that love is that you can tune into the American Movie Classics channel on TV at any point during a broadcast and she becomes completely engrossed in the story from that point forward. Unfortunately, it also means the TV is on a lot, and not just replaying old movies. The incessant news. The sports. The blathering chatter of talk shows. This audio pollution is ever-present in her family room. Her ears never get a rest from it. Sadly, both she and we have gotten too used to hearing it. It's background noise.
But last Sunday morning we turned it off.
Mother Sings
This was not some well-planned attempt to remove an agitating source of tension from the room. The truth is, we simply hadn't turned the TV on yet that morning when my mom came in and sat down in her favorite chair. For no apparent reason, I noticed a stack of CDs sitting on top of my parents' Bose stereo system. I picked up the top one and read the title: Susan Boyle: The Gift.
That title intrigued me, so instead of pressing the "on" button on the TV remote, I slipped Susan Boyle's CD in the player and pushed "play." The first song was titled "Perfect Day." I had never heard it before, but the music was haunting and the lyrics captivated us all.
Just a perfect day—
You made me forget myself.
I thought I was someone else,
Someone good.Oh, it's such a perfect day;
I'm glad I spent it with you.
Oh, such a perfect day;
You just keep me hanging on.
Bob Perry is a commercial airline captain. He and his wife of 35 years attend Center Pointe Christian Church in West Chester, Ohio. They have five sons. Bob holds an M.A. in Christian Apologetics from Biola University and a B.S. in Aerospace Engineering from the U.S. Naval Academy. He defends the Christian worldview at truehorizon.org.
Share this article with non-subscribers:
https://www.touchstonemag.com/archives/article.php?id=29-04-017-v&readcode=3477
Get six issues (one year) of Touchstone PLUS full online access including pdf downloads for only $39.95. That's only $3.34 per month!
Get a one-year full-access subscription to the Touchstone online archives for only $19.95. That's only $1.66 per month!
bulk subscriptions
Order Touchstone subscriptions in bulk and save $10 per sub! Each subscription includes 6 issues of Touchstone plus full online access to touchstonemag.com—including archives, videos, and pdf downloads of recent issues for only $29.95 each! Great for churches or study groups.
Transactions will be processed on a secure server.
more from the online archives
31.4—July/August 2018
The Difficulty of Apologetics for Dead Souls in the Real World by R. J. Snell
31.4—July/August 2018
Life & Love Are Real Despite Theatrical Illusions by Anthony Esolen
calling all readers
Please Donate
"There are magazines worth reading but few worth saving . . . Touchstone is just such a magazine."
—Alice von Hildebrand
"Here we do not concede one square millimeter of territory to falsehood, folly, contemporary sentimentality, or fashion. We speak the truth, and let God be our judge. . . . Touchstone is the one committedly Christian conservative journal."
—Anthony Esolen, Touchstone senior editor
