The Largest Career of All
Bethany Patchin on Motherhood
"How many of you want to be at-home moms?” The question, from my tenth-grade English teacher, was directed at the females in the room. We made up over half of the class of 25 sophomores. I proudly raised my hand, then waited for at least a few others to join me. The room was completely still. Everyone stared at me.
Four years later not much has changed. Marriage is closer than ever for my peers, yet only a few of the young women I come into contact with admit they would postpone a career for children. Those who do, confide in me only after I’ve told them of my own feelings. They seem relieved to find a contemporary who doesn’t mock their desire.
When I finally got the nerve up to tell my advisor that I want to get married and be a mom after I graduate, I watched his expression go from surprise to dismay to disapproval. “I wouldn’t have expected you to be that type,” he said, shaking his head and looking at me with great disappointment. “You just seem so . . . involved.”
He paused, then asked in a hushed, sad voice, “Is it pressure from your boyfriend?” A laugh escaped me before I could stop it—his tone was the same as if he had asked me if my boyfriend was abusive.
“No,” I informed him, “I don’t have a boyfriend.” Despite my desire to get married, I’m not at college to hunt down a husband. Marriage and raising a family will not be the epitome of my existence—I enjoy looking forward to them, but I’m not living in the future.
I do hope to serve someday as a wife and mother. If and when God determines it is time for me to marry a man and bear his children, I will do so with a willing heart.
Just a Mom
Most people wonder why I am bothering to get a degree if all I want is to be a wife and mom. That question irks me.
I love to learn and want to have a wealth of knowledge to impart to my children. Why shouldn’t a housewife be educated? I want to equip myself and hone my skills to the point of craft.
My mother earned her degree in elementary education 20 years ago, and promptly became a housemom after graduating. Since then my brother, sisters, and I have been her highest priority, but during the tight times she helped out by using her degree for substitute teaching. Though we didn’t like having her gone, she was able to carry some of the burden my father carried. I want to be able to do this for my own husband if the need ever arises.
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more on Motherhood from the online archives
more from the online archives
22.8—November/December 2009
Looking for Beauty & Justice 150 Years After Darwin’s Classic by Charles Taliaferro
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