Love’s Attributes, Part 2
My previous column, in the May/June Touchstone, was about books that might be used in the study of the famous “love” passage of the Apostle Paul, 1 Corinthians 13. In that column, I included books on some of the positive qualities of love—hope, patience, and kindness. In this column, I’d like to list a few books that illustrate some negative qualities—those things that are not part of what love looks like. Children can often connect with these stories and tell their own, allowing for discussion of why the characteristics displayed are not loving and what are better ways of behaving. I’ll finish with some general books on love.
Not Jealous or Boastful
“Love is never jealous [or envious],” writes St. Paul. St. Francis and the Proud Crow, by Bernadette Watts, tells the story of a crow who sees a canary in a beautiful golden cage and is jealous. He asks St. Francis for a house, and the saint complies, but eventually the crow realizes he doesn’t like being in a cage. A sparrow takes pity on him and asks St. Francis if he can take the crow’s place.
In The Pearl, by Helme Heine, a beaver finds a mussel that he is sure has a “pearl of great price” in it. He becomes quite obsessed with it, but then falls asleep and dreams. In his dream, the other animals become jealous, and gradually worse and worse things happen. When the beaver wakes up, he realizes that “holding onto a treasure” is not good for him or for others.
St. Paul also wrote, “Love is not boastful.” In The Big Boasting Battle, by Hans Wilhelm, a lion and a snake start boasting to each other about how great they are. They decide to have a race to see who is greatest and end up in a trap. In order to get out, they need to learn to cooperate.
In Loudmouth George and the Fishing Trip, by Nancy Carlson, George is always bragging about how great he is. When a friend says she is going fishing with her father, he brags that he once caught a huge fish. So she invites him to go along and quickly realizes that he has never been fishing. He has to learn to rein in his exaggerations.
A lovely book by Isaac Bashevis Singer is Why Noah Chose the Dove. As Noah is finishing the construction of the ark, the animals are all boasting about how great they are, hoping to impress Noah enough to get taken on board the ark. Only the dove remains silent. When Noah tells the animals that they will all come aboard, they forget their competition, but Noah remembers the modesty of the dove. So when the rains stop, the dove is the one he chooses to send out to determine if the land is ready for them again.
Raccoon’s Last Race is an Abenaki Indian folktale retold by Joseph and James Bruchac. Raccoon has long legs and boasts that he can outrun anyone. But when he tries to outrun a huge boulder, he runs into serious trouble.
Love Displayed
And now for some books about what love looks like in various settings. The Elephant Who Couldn’t Forget, by Faith McNulty, tells of the youngest elephant in a herd, who is lovingly taught to remember what is important. When a brother treats him roughly, he has trouble forgetting and forgiving. Life loses much of its pleasure until he is reminded to remember only what is important.
Dear Phoebe, by Sue Alexander, is the touching story of a young mouse leaving home to make her own home. She and her mother write to each other often, and a sparrow delivers the letters. They realize how much they love each other.
In the sweet story, Tell Me Something Happy Before I Go to Sleep, by Joyce Dunbar, a little girl bunny is having trouble getting to sleep. Her older brother, a wise and patient rabbit, helps her think of all the things that are waiting for her in the new day—after she sleeps.
The Lion’s Whiskers, by Nancy Raines Day, is a retelling of a famous Ethiopian tale. A woman marries a widower, whose young son, about 11 years old, wants to have nothing to do with her. She is advised by a village wise man that she can be helped by getting three whiskers from a cranky lion. The woman gradually wins over the lion and gets the whiskers, and the wise man then tells her that she now has the knowledge to win over the boy. And she does.
A Gracious Plenty, by Kate Salley Palmer, is a good portrait of an older woman who has no children of her own but who knows how to love people.
In My Day with Anka, by Nan Ferring Nelson, a young girl looks forward to Thursdays, when an older immigrant woman comes to clean the house and take care of her. The love they share is special.
In Dark Day, Light Night, by Jan Carr, a girl is feeling terrible after a boy grabbed a ball from her in a game. She runs inside and tells her aunt, who sits her down and asks her to think of all the things she likes. The girl has trouble thinking of things, so her aunt begins to share a list she has written down for hard days. Soon the girl is feeling much better and very close to her aunt.
There are many more such books, but I’ll finish with one by Nancy White Carlstrom, Does God Know How to Tie Shoes? In it, a girl asks her parents many questions about God, such as, “Does God like to sing?” and “Does God have any pets?” The answers help her feel God’s love in a new way.
I hope some of these books will be useful in helping children learn what love is like and how they can be people who love well.
Kathie Johnson has always had a love for children's books. She collected many as a teacher and began sharing them with other teachers. In 1986, she opened a children's library in her home, and it has continued to expand over the years. Many home-schooled and schooled children borrow books from it, and she takes great pleasure in finding the "right" book for a child. She attends First Presbyterian Church in Berkeley.
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